Rendezvous Part 16

Natalie ignored Derrick’s comment and continued to make love to him. Derrick allowed Natalie her fill of him and then carefully turned as not to separate them and returned in magnitude what she’d done for him. It was well after noon before they finally got their pleasantly aching bodies out of bed. Derrick went to check his messages while Natalie showered. The missed call was Derrick’s mother, but the message wasn’t urgent for him to call back, so Derrick joined Natalie to make her shower even steamier.

For the rest of the day, Derrick and Natalie did next to nothing other than enjoy each other’s company and talk. Derrick ordered take out instead of cooking and Natalie found movies to watch On Demand. By nightfall, Derrick and Natalie found themselves in a repeat of the previous night and by the end of Derrick’s time in Philly, he felt like he’d fallen for Natalie; and was afraid to speak about it. He recalled his promise, but it was hard to send his feelings back to the darkness and his biggest fear was his change being noticed at home. Dread filled him and temporarily eclipsed his happiness.

Natalie wrapped her arms around Derrick’s waist. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Might need about 99 cents more,” Derrick huffed.

“Oh?” Natalie looked into Derrick’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Derrick sat Natalie at the table. “I don’t know how to do this Natalie,” Derrick spoke softly. “Look at me,” Derrick was beaming. “I feel like I just took off my armor and I’m a hundred pounds lighter. I’m smiling now and I’m not usually this cheerful.” Derrick turned away from Natalie for a moment and then looked into her questioning eyes. “I have no idea how I’m supposed to contain this once I go home,” Derrick frowned. “Nat, what am I gonna do?”

Natalie took Derrick’s hand in hers. “Honestly hun, I don’t know what to say. It’s been less than a year since Lloyd’s death and I let you in. I’m in a precarious place too,” Natalie tried to comfort, but knew her words weren’t really the solace he wanted.

Derrick got up and paced. “I know you said no regrets, and babe I have none,” Derrick stopped pacing. “I just don’t know how to put what I’m feeling into the recesses again.” Sadness filled his tone.

Natalie got up and put her arms around Derrick again. “Kiss me,” she affectionately demanded.

Derrick kissed her knowing it would be the last time their lips would meet. There was no way out of his marriage unless his wife died and Natalie needed time to completely heal. This was all too much and too soon for either of them to commit to anything other than maintaining their friendship.

Natalie left for home the day before Derrick leaving him alone with his thoughts. They slept in separate beds the night before her departure to prevent their parting from being any harder than it already would be. Natalie called to say she’d arrived safely and the conversation was limited to that. Derrick went home and on with his quasi life and tried to focus on having a friendship with Natalie rather than nothing at all. The months passed and Derrick and Natalie continued to talk via phone and email as they’d done before. With the same applied intensity to his work, Derrick managed to bury his feelings toward Natalie and have his wife be none the wiser of his indiscretion. Natalie received her promotion and became the first black woman to head up a CSU. Derrick sent flowers instead of accepting her invitation to the formal dinner held in her honor. Facing her was too hard.