As I Am
Broken with scars unseen
Smiles that hide tears within
Giving and not always able to receive
Love when it’s pain I feel
Flawed instead of perfect
Carefree when I should be guarded
Consumed by gaping wide emptiness
Feeling when I should be numb
I am alone in a world full of people
A voyeur in the window of life
The passenger in the drivers seat
A martyr to emotional misgivings
Memories of someone who used to be
Flesh encased a pseudo being
Melancholy replaces once known joy
A soul lost and unsaved by hope
(c) Blu Jewel 2006
**Author's note: See what happens when you find stuff in hidden places. This was originally written in Nov 04 and I decided to post it unretouched.
posted by Blu Jewel at 8:42 AM
10 Comments:
If I didn't see the authors note, I would have thought something was wrong. This poem is sad, but it's still good. Glad you're over them feelings. Or at least I hope you are. Are you? Do you need a hug? Cookies?
I especially love this poem, Blu & one that is bathed in humility.
My favourite lines:
'I am alone in a world full of people
A voyeur in the window of life'
Beautifully written and in its tranquility, sketched with thoughtfulness & care.
I can relate to this poem.
I feel that at one point, this was me, in the flesh.
Unretouched poetry is like finding a diamond in the ruff.
I love those types of poems. Seems like thats when they are the most pure.
I'm calling the mind police. You have been in my head too much lately...LOL. Nicely retouched. Keep up the great writing, but I repeate, SAVE SOME FOR THE BOOKS!
Now you know I love this piece, however, it is not dark as you may think. It sort of reads like a confession to yourself. The following lines are the exact opposite of myself,
"Flawed instead of perfect
Carefree when I should be guarded
Consumed by gaping wide emptiness
Feeling when I should be numb"
Hell yes...
Wow. I'm glad you didn't change a thing! This reminded me a lot of who I used to be. Especailly the second verse. I was like: "Has Blu been reading my old journals?!!" :)
Thank you for sharing this and for reminding me this blog was here!
Peace, sweetie! Today, Be... inquisitive!
I just love digging up old stuff I'd written and long forgotten about. A few months back I went to help my Mum move from the house where I grew up. At the back of an old wardrobe I found literally hundreds of poems/song lyrics I wrote as a teenager. The thing that surprised me most was that reading them 10/15 years or so later, they were actually quite good!
Anyhow - I loved this poem, especially the lines that Susan pointed out: "I am alone in a world full of people,
A voyeur in the window of life". This was uncannily like a short piece I wrote to accompany one of my photos on flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/windscreenfly/168886458/
"Flesh encased a pseudo being", not my blue jewel, cant be. not the essence that i have come to known. I like this
Don't change this. I can relate on so many levels to this.
I wish I had the notebooks of my poetry and writings from my teens and early twenties. Funny how things seem to just disappear over time when you are not paying attention to them.
Sue
I think we've all been there. Your poetry touches that melancholy feeling of loneliness quite viscerally.
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